Monologue: Dear Darling

My future is maddening.
I tried to push it off. I tried telling myself it was too far away, that what lies ahead is too far off to worry about.
Well that, future, is coming fast and hard and I have no plan for it.
As teenagers, we used to worry that you wanted kids and I didn't.
Remember, how we would laugh it off, remember how foolish it was to have to worry about that?... "Things might change," we would say...
Well that memory is six years gone, and nothing has changed.

You used to tell me that you wanted to live in Boston after college. To "feel" the big city. Feel the history. Go at it alone.
Again, we laughed it off.
"We might not even know each other by then".
Well we do and we're together.
And now you're looking at studio apartments across the country while I'm stuck here in Washington for med school.
Well where does that leave us??...
Years of our relationship?
Lost in distance?
Now what am I supposed to think of your plans to join the military after some time in the damn City on a Hill?
Brush that off as some childhood dream? Laugh it off like all of the other things?
I am done, laughing...
Please
I need answers.
I love you. God, I love you.
You are my best friend... but I'm starting to think that's all you are, a friend.
I don't want to spend another six years to find out my fears are true. That we are incompatible.
I want to know now. Are we growing together, or apart?
When you look at your future, do you see me?
When I dream about my future, and see less and less of you... It scares me.
I used to have you on my mind all the time. You made your home there.
It felt comfortable...
You've since moved out, and now my mind is in disarray and you are only an occasional guest.
As kids, this... we, seemed possible.
But as time winds down, I need to know...
How possible are we?