Monologue: Syndicate

Do you realize the things that go without seeing the light of day? Think about it. Katie Beers was kidnapped and spent seventeen days in a concrete cell under a garage. Let’s get even worse. Modern slavery is a thriving business that generates thirty five billion dollars annually. Think about the punishments for them. How long they must have spent in cramped ships and wagons being transported around the globe, from field workers to sex slaves. The greatest incarceration though is the one we’re doing to ourselves

No, no i know what you might be thinking, this isn’t going to be a drab political treatise about how we are all slaves to an oppressive system and we can’t see the truth. I'm more so talking about what’s happening on the inside. Your insides.
Unless you’re one of the lucky few who have experienced, but unfortunately replaced an evisceration, most of your organs have never experienced light. They don’t know what it’s like to feel the warm inviting sunshine on their precious delicate membranes. They’re trapped in the dark, with no way out, no break. Even those in POW camps get rest occasionally, yet you’re working your heart constantly, and the only respite it’s ever getting is a small blip in between beats.
You cruel son of a bitch.
I would tell you to stop enslaving your own body. To open up your ship and set your slaves free. But, I've done this enough times to realize that nobody does. You’re content being a slave owner. Until I open you up. Then your skin cries tears of joy as it's finally able to release the guilty torment of its brothers it’s trapped inside. Your heart still beats, Erradically. Ecstatically, as it thanks me for my efforts, shows its excitement for its new found freedom. The lungs cheer me on, spasming, telling me to go deeper inside your body. Your blood is the most eager, literally jumping from your constricting arteries to get away from the wound it thinks will heal soon. It’s such a beautiful sight I tell you, and I hope to be able to give my body the same pleasure one day. However, as sickened as I am to say it, it is not my body’s independence day just yet… but I am happy to tell you, it is yours.

Monologue: Dear Darling

My future is maddening.
I tried to push it off. I tried telling myself it was too far away, that what lies ahead is too far off to worry about.
Well that, future, is coming fast and hard and I have no plan for it.
As teenagers, we used to worry that you wanted kids and I didn't.
Remember, how we would laugh it off, remember how foolish it was to have to worry about that?... "Things might change," we would say...
Well that memory is six years gone, and nothing has changed.

You used to tell me that you wanted to live in Boston after college. To "feel" the big city. Feel the history. Go at it alone.
Again, we laughed it off.
"We might not even know each other by then".
Well we do and we're together.
And now you're looking at studio apartments across the country while I'm stuck here in Washington for med school.
Well where does that leave us??...
Years of our relationship?
Lost in distance?
Now what am I supposed to think of your plans to join the military after some time in the damn City on a Hill?
Brush that off as some childhood dream? Laugh it off like all of the other things?
I am done, laughing...
Please
I need answers.
I love you. God, I love you.
You are my best friend... but I'm starting to think that's all you are, a friend.
I don't want to spend another six years to find out my fears are true. That we are incompatible.
I want to know now. Are we growing together, or apart?
When you look at your future, do you see me?
When I dream about my future, and see less and less of you... It scares me.
I used to have you on my mind all the time. You made your home there.
It felt comfortable...
You've since moved out, and now my mind is in disarray and you are only an occasional guest.
As kids, this... we, seemed possible.
But as time winds down, I need to know...
How possible are we?

Monologue: Note

You’ve been so wonderful. These past few months have been the best I’ve had in my entire life. So many good things have happened.... So many memories made.
But... Life is still not worth living.
These constant nagging feelings, that I shouldn't be here, that I shouldn't be happy, just slip me deeper into darkness a little each day.
Things, are still moving in slow motion. My smile has been replaced by a grimace, and there is a glass wall separating me from the rest of the world.
I, am suffocating myself trying to be happy.
I know you can’t understand. It’s hard for me to understand. I have nothing to be sad about. I had a good life, a decent childhood, a good home...
I have you.
But I am still tired....

If you think this was because of you, something you did, and there was something you could have done to stop it! Stop!
You’re not the center of my universe, I am. I have the problems, I am the reason I feel this way, I am why I feel so empty inside..
I just want you to know, it’s not because of you.
I planned to do... this.. for many months. You had given me reason not to.. You prolonged my existence further than I ever thought I wanted.
So... Please. Don't blame yourself.
Because I was dead long before I met you, and long before I pulled this trigger.