You’ve been so wonderful. These past few months have been the best I’ve had in my entire life. So many good things have happened.... So many memories made.
But... Life is still not worth living.
These constant nagging feelings, that I shouldn't be here, that I shouldn't be happy, just slip me deeper into darkness a little each day.
Things, are still moving in slow motion. My smile has been replaced by a grimace, and there is a glass wall separating me from the rest of the world.
I, am suffocating myself trying to be happy.
I know you can’t understand. It’s hard for me to understand. I have nothing to be sad about. I had a good life, a decent childhood, a good home...
I have you.
But I am still tired....
If you think this was because of you, something you did, and there was something you could have done to stop it! Stop!
You’re not the center of my universe, I am. I have the problems, I am the reason I feel this way, I am why I feel so empty inside..
I just want you to know, it’s not because of you.
I planned to do... this.. for many months. You had given me reason not to.. You prolonged my existence further than I ever thought I wanted.
So... Please. Don't blame yourself.
Because I was dead long before I met you, and long before I pulled this trigger.
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